This one is for the only good boy I know: Matthew Kranis.
In case you’d rather not endure sappy, happy go-luckiness, I suggest you pop off this quick. It’s a fair warning as I won’t apologize for my merriment. Far too many women are subject to apologies on the daily, so it’s just not happening here ^.^
Mattie, if you read this… you ain’t ready for this jelly. I suspect it’ll catalyze the waterworks and that’d be cute as always.
Anyway… The ping prompts companion(ship) and that is exactly what Matt has become. He’s not just a boyfriend, just a fling, a bout of infatuation, a fuckboy, a sugar daddy, and definitely not “just some guy I’m talking to.” He’s my friend, my counterpart, my confidante.
We met on Tinder back in September 2015 and yes, we’re a proud representation of a #TinderSuccessStory. It’s still a little bit embarrassing to admit since internet dating has carried such a bitter stigma for so long – especially Tinder (the notable hook-up app). I had just moved back home from South Korea and was about that game, so when I stumbled upon Matt’s profile, I hardcore hit that right swipe and it turned out the feeling was mutual. NICE!
I sent the first message, “you have a face like Louis CK, and that’s not at all a bad thing.” It’s true, he does resemble Louie, but with a much better beard and fuller, darker hair. There’s something SO goddamn sexy about Louie; he’s not conventionally hot, but he’s got the dadbod I’d hit in a heartbeat. So really I lucked out on this one! HOW CONVENIENT! And the rest is history.
He’s the first guy to ever take me out on “real dates”. It was shocking to be treated so nicely. It still is. I don’t know if I could ever go back to my past reality. For our first date, we met up at UCB Franklin for a show he got us tickets for. Already off to a good start because comedy is something we’re both very into, but there wasn’t an insane amount of pressure to talk the whole time. After the show, we decided to grab a bite at Franklin & Company where I learned about his deadly dairy allergy which totally ruined my suave move to share the Parmesan meatballs I had ordered. GODCLAMIT. In the moment, I genuinely thought that would be a deal breaker, obvs, it hasn’t been. The night wasn’t over just yet… We lingered in the Gelson’s parking lot, where I’d parked my car. Hours went by that way until we realized it was nearly midnight! He parked a bit further from the theater, so I offered a quick ride to his car. But really, I wanted to give him a taste of my mad driving skills (double entendre there, get with it). The night ended with a good ole fashioned “this was fun” line. This exchange seemed genuine though… at least, much more than past ones. It was nervous and vulnerable, aching for approval, which came in the form of a very awkward driver-passenger-over-the-middle-compartment crossover one-armed hug. Something you’d see in an Adam Sandler RomCom.
About a week later, we met up at The Otheroom in Abbot Kinney. What made this real special was that we didn’t talk much between dates. We simply set the time and date and met up so when we were together there was plenty mystery left to be resolved. Again, we shared the night until late with good food, better drinks, and great conversations. At the end of the night, he walked me to my car, which was in the back alley of a restaurant. A group of night shift guys were chilling outside, being loud with their laughter at whatever the hell they were chitchatting about. Matt made his move and they grew silent. I’d never shared a first kiss with someone in front of an audience, so that was different to say the least. He turned out to be a good kisser too! Now, where’s Adam Sandler? We need to talk about this ish!
The Friday of that week, Matt scooped me from home for a Friday Night Fireworks Dodger Game. Traffic was pretty bad but I was glad to learn about his road rage. He’s a hilarious driver. He has the tendency to drive too slow compared to hustling, bustling LA drivers and then he gets really pizzed when someone cuts him off for driving so slowly. It’s like a Catch 22. He’s also pretty bad at making left turns.
The game was a swift 9-innings of Dodger victory. Felt like a victory for me too as we cuddled up for the fireworks in our loge seats. It was cute. While we waited for the parking traffic to dissipate, I decided to sort of test the waters; see how he reacts when I share some adventures of mine since he seemed a bit square. Just a tad. I told him about the time I got super-duper high and wanted to check out the beautiful LA skyline and nearly drove my mother’s Prius off Mulholland Drive. I think that made him nervous. I also told him that just a week before I’d done molly dusted shrooms and thought that the external design of a Louis Vuitton was going to eat me. He thought that was pretty funny. In exchange, he shared all the many times he’s broken beers bottles on drunken nights in Boston and the time he got punched in the face and ran away because, “he’s not a fighter.” That was adorable. It was nice to find out we’re both a bit reckless sometimes, I figured fun times would lie ahead.
And so the dates went on that way until my birthday when he really made my day. I had dinner plans with my parents for which I’d gotten all done up and ready. It was 6pm(ish) when my mom suddenly decided she was too tired to do anything. And when my mom says she’s not going out, that means my dad isn’t allowed out either… YIKES. I saw it coming from a mile away; she’s notorious for being an utter bitch. Can’t say it didn’t hurt though. When I mentioned to Matt that my parents ditched on my birthday dinner, he offered to hang out. Nothing fancy, sort of last minute, but it was so sweet of him to meet in the middle of the week completely unannounced. We met at The One Up, a barcade near his place in Studio City. I’ve always adored The Valley and this only made me fancy it more. That night, I went out on a limb, “Matt, I’m really into you. Like, I like like you…” His face lit up in agreement and he pulled me in for a kiss. All the while, we had antique Disney animatronics staring at us through a store front window. Needless to say, we naturally encourage voyeurism of any kind.
We became official a few weeks later (shame on me for not knowing the exact date). Things slowly but surely became more and more serious and it continues that way as the days go by. I met his twin sister at Friendsgiving Dinner, he met my parents in early December, then he met my brother in January. On April Fools, I relieved the itch of exclaiming “I LOVE YOU” and I didn’t even realize the occasion till the next day – would’ve made for a very good, but very cruel joke. I met his parents in June and I’ve been invited to be his +1 at his cousin’s wedding in New York. That’s pretty serious! OMG! Mixed in with all the aforementioned life events have been amazing experiences, outrageous and downright offensive jokes, and just a few arguments. All of which have been induced by emotions that get the best of me. Even still, there’s never been a moment or a reason laden enough with misery to make me not want to continue with our relationship. All because he makes me so happy.
Happy in the most definitive way. Happy to the point of tears. Happy to share a pillow with him. Happy to not add cheese to every meal we cook together for the sake of his well-being. Happy to sit in traffic and scream at every driver that does us wrong. Happy to get wasted and dance the night away. So. Fucking. Happy. So much, that I admitted I want to raise a pet with him… OH BOY! He teases me about it meow.
Even with all that I’ve written so far and everything could possibly be written, it’ll never be enough to encapsulate my admiration for this boy. He’s talented beyond belief, driven beyond restrictions, funny beyond reproach, genuine beyond piety. He cares for me even when he’s too busy and too tired. He worries about my well-being more than I ever have. He says things like:
- Your hair is perfect
- Text me when you’re home
- Remember to take your meds (when I’m sick)
- Please be careful
- Drive safe
- Your body is beautiful
- I’m so proud of you
- I can’t quit you
- You aren’t alone anymore
He’s made lifestyle changes because he knows I merely want what’s best for him. He’s taken the time to internalize and apply the importance of trust and communication. He pleases me to the utmost degrees and holy fuck am I grateful for that! Most importantly, however, he insists that I’m worthy even when I’m convinced that I’m really a big sack of shit. He’s helping me on my journey of self-love and acceptance and though it seems so small, it’s actually an enormous feat for me. He encourages my passion for music and performance, writing, higher education, and my overall aptitude to be an independent woman – an individual. That most certainly goes both ways.
I wouldn’t ask for a better companion for the trip.
ALSO, shameless plugs for him – America’s Premier Plus Size Model