Someone [K]new

Watch the video first. The rest of this post will make sense contextually when paired with it. Besides, Natalie Dormer is the epitome of a fox in this video, so that’s another reason to watch if not for the following text. Enjoy.

Now that the video is over, I’ll dive into a written endeavor to explain how the song and the video hits home. I’m fully aware of the overarching theme of lovelessness that resides in this blog; lots of stuff on the dark end of the spectrum. #sorrynotsorry. Recently, a friend gave me some feedback on a post [for which I am eternally grateful because that does not often happen] that has helped realize my purpose for writing. And that is to tell my story, myself. Perhaps as a means of clearing the way I’m perceived through the eyes of others or simply to get smut off my chest. Or both. It could be both. Sometimes I ramble, sometimes I write in riddles that I can’t even figure out when I read back. Sometimes both. There I go again. I digress.

After watching Someone New, I saw myself in Natalie Dormer. Not for the goddess she is, but rather for the mammoth of torture she goes through. Much of this pain is self-induced. At least if I’m speaking vicariously. I do the same. I put on my best face, hair, and outfit aiming to set for on the pursuit to snag next best thing. A cat on the prowl. I want men to want me, want women to want to be me. Much like her, I exude confidence and lust – especially after a few drinks. Much like her, I get my play, I can’t complain. Much like her, people who caught a glimpse of my life would surmise, “she’s a slut/whore/loose/whatever”. Much like her, these physical pursuits make life seem trivial, as she’s always left empty-handed. It’s been a while since my last serious relationship and Korea has proven to be the land of the lonely. I yearn for someone’s touch and this is why I proactively seek out others (men) for corporeal gratification. However, it always ends sour.

It’s been a month since Valentine’s Day. In Korea, that brings upon the celebration of White Day, a holiday invented by a candy company in which guys give girls sweet (pun intended) gifts to liven up their relationship. This holiday is mostly intended for the new couples that were established on Valentine’s Day. If by White Day individuals are still single, then this day would be the second chance to enact a magically romantic gesture to land relationship. Then there’s Black Day, a month after White Day and two months after Valentine’s Day, aimed at shining a bright shunning light on all the single folk. On this day, the loners a supposed to eat a black bean dish. I’m pretty sure this is meant to ward off any potential matches as it brings on the need of phosphorescent henceforth, catch my drift? My point is that Korean standards place a major emphasis on the importance, if not the requisite, of being in a relationship at all times.

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