An Unconventional, Unintentional, Uneasy Three Way

This was an interesting weekend. Interesting, for lack of a better word.
Friday night I was dealt the most difficult hand. Difficult, because I hadn’t learned the proper way to handle it, either through media or others’ experiences. Somehow I managed, I’m surprised.
This is what happened: Dapper Boy was about me all night long; we messed around in some back alley parking lot and the rest is history. When it was time to go home, Canadia Boy (obvs a different guy) approaches me while Dapper Boy is in the restroom. He kisses my hand and says, “Angela, come home with me, I can take care of you better than anyone else.” I’m stunned by this. This line that I’d been waiting so long to hear. It was finally said. It was so sudden though. When I met Canadia Boy I was so about him, I laid it on thick, and he appeared uninterested, so I moved on. Namely, with Dapper Boy.
I had to choose. I never imagined this would happen to me.
When Dapper Boy came back from the restroom, I guess he could sense the tension. “What’s going on?”, “I’m in the biggest pickle imaginable right now,” I responded.
Long story short, I go home with Canadia Boy. At his place, he was romantic. He put on Amy Winehouse and held me close for a dance. Just the two of us. Lights dimmed. It was surreal. We start kissing, lights go off, he’s on top of me, he’s immense body above mine made me feel so compact. He was so careful about everything, I felt safe, desired, infatuated. However, I told him Mother Nature was in town because I wasn’t ready. Mostly because I was positive that what he’d said to lure me in was intensely inspired by the booze. I had no way to know if it was real unless I began an extensive inquisition. And at 6am, who the fuck wants to deal with that? So we slept. He spooned me tightly, protectively. That was all I wanted. I was happy with it. All night, however, I thought about how awkward/offensive it must have been for Dapper Boy to be the latter of the litter. I’d hate to be that person. The unchosen. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
The next night, I made a very clear choice. Utterly opposite from the one I’d made the night just before. Dapper Boy and I were together all night. This is what I wanted most. One bad choice led to a better one. Maybe that’s what it takes sometimes. After an insane amount of wine and long hours of partying and drinking games, he said lots of desirable things in my ear in a dark place. Yet again, how am I to know if any of it was genuine? I’ll just hope for the best and expect the worst. I’d like to be with him. I’m ready for it.
It was an interesting weekend. And interesting one to say the least.

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